Welcome Stranger Hotel, Melbourne VIC

As a man of refined intellect and an unwavering commitment to logic, I am no stranger to human incompetence. However, my recent visit to Welcome Stranger Hotel (an egregiously misleading name, as the welcome was anything but warm) was an exercise in patience, endurance, and the tragic realization that customer service, as an art form, is evidently lost on some establishments.

Upon arrival, I was immediately subjected to an ID check. Now, let's be clear - I do not object to establishments enforcing rules. Laws exist for a reason, and I understand the necessity of verifying age. What I take umbrage with is the palpable suspicion with which I was met, despite stating that I met the age requirement. It was as if I had walked into a high-security government facility instead of a simple bar. I cooperated, of course, as engaging in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent would be a futile endeavor.

Having successfully navigated this bureaucratic minefield, I ordered what should have been a simple dish - a chicken parmigiana. I paid, expecting a smooth transaction, and for a brief, blissful moment, I believed I had sidestepped any further incompetence. Alas, I was mistaken.

Craving a cookie, I approached the counter and made my request. What followed was a display of indifference so potent it could have been weaponized. Rather than responding with a simple "Just a moment" or "I'll be with you shortly," I was met with an unnecessarily terse "OK, wait back." Wait back? An unusual phrase, one that defies both grammatical convention and common decency. Mind you, there was no bustling queue, no frenzied rush - just an employee seemingly irritated by my mere presence.

But the pièce de résistance of this debacle was yet to come. Along with my chicken parma, I requested aioli sauce - a reasonable request, one that any functioning establishment should be able to accommodate. Initially, my request was met with a reassuring "Yes." However, seconds later, another employee interjected with the baffling question: "Since when do we buy aioli?"

Ah, the rare and wondrous public contradiction. Had I unknowingly entered an absurdist comedy skit? Before I could even process the sheer incompetence of that statement, another employee sheepishly admitted, "Sorry, I lied. Not aioli, we have chipotle."

Let us analyze this for a moment. "Sorry, I lied" is not a phrase one expects - or wants - to hear from a service worker. It raises a rather concerning question: if they lie about sauce, what else do they lie about? Furthermore, the delivery was alarmingly casual, as if deception were an acceptable part of their daily operations.

In summation, my experience at Welcome Stranger Hotel was a masterclass in subpar service, delivered with a level of indifference that bordered on impressive. If you enjoy being treated like an inconvenience, if you delight in being lied to about condiment availability, or if you have a peculiar interest in deciphering cryptic phrases like "Wait back," then by all means, pay them a visit. However, if you value professionalism, competence, and basic respect, I advise you to take your business elsewhere.

Two stars - and that is me being generous and chicken parma was good.

Great friendly staff, good food. Manager was very welcoming and took time to talk to his customers. We will definitely be back

Awful venue. Rude staff. Disgusting food. Can't wait to see them go out of business once the new pokies laws come into effect shortly.

Great place to have a drink while waiting to meet people to move on for dinner. Pokie TAB venue. Polite staff. Comfortable to kick back for a few drinks. Not for kids

Great service, friendly Staff, love coming to welcome stranger,can watch races ,footy,have a poke,happy customer...